LISTING 1: Mystery Query

CREATE TABLE #Words
(
  key_col int NOT NULL IDENTITY PRIMARY KEY,
  word varchar(15) NOT NULL
)

SET NOCOUNT ON

INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x57616E74                       )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x746F                           )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x7072616374696365               )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x796F7572                       )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x542D53514C                     )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x736B696C6C732C                 )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x627574                         )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x686164                         )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x656E6F756768                   )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x627573696E657373               )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x7363656E6172696F73             )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x616C72656164793F               )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x4966                           )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x736F2C                         )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x6B656570                       )
INSERT INTO #Words VALUES( 0x72656164696E6721               )

SELECT
  CASE
    WHEN key_col IN(2,3,max_key-1,max_key-2) THEN REPLICATE('/',4)
    ELSE SPACE(4)
  END +
  CASE
    WHEN key_col IN(max_key/2,max_key/2+1) THEN REPLICATE('/', 8)
    ELSE SPACE(8)
  END +
  SPACE(SQRT(SQUARE(radius)-SQUARE(ABS(radius-key_col+1)))) +
  CAST(word AS VARCHAR(15)) +
  REPLICATE('~', max_len - LEN(word))
FROM #Words
  CROSS JOIN
    (SELECT
       (1. * COUNT(*) - 1) / 2 AS radius,
       MAX(LEN(word)) AS max_len,
       MAX(key_col) AS max_key
     FROM #Words) AS R
ORDER BY key_col

DROP TABLE #Words